The Truth about Cheating

If you’re reading this, then the odds are you have, at some point, cheated. (Proof!) It’s heavy stuff: One stupid mistake, and you may lose the woman you love. But I’d like to offer a take on infidelity that’s been controversial among my friends, and I suspect, will be controversial among readers, too. Here’s how to prevent a one-time dalliance from ruining a long-term relationship. Don’t, under any circumstances, tell her. Contrary to popular belief, telling your girlfriend about your slip-up is not the right thing to do. It’s selfish and cruel; unless you want to break up with her, the only thing you’re doing is hurting someone you care about in order to assuage your own guilt. Don’t tell anyone. People talk.

So, if you want to keep your one-night-only mistake a secret, be sure to keep it under wraps: Don’t text, Facebook facebook or Tweet tweet about it. Don’t hint to friends about deep feelings of guilt. Just put it behind you and pretend it never happened. One-time-only means one-time-only. Once is a slip-up – a drunken error, or something that happened after a big fight. That, I can understand. If, on the other hand, you’re making this cheating thing a habit, you need to grow a pair and end it.

I don’t advocate cheating by any means; most of us have at some point been cheated on, and it sucks. But if you slip up once, I say swallow the guilt and keep your mouth shut. Living with the guilt is your punishment, and she’ll never need to know.

Image courtesy of warmsunnydays.


10 thoughts on “The Truth about Cheating”

  1. lol more one-sided three-paragraph troll bait from XX on XY.

    Cue the “ALWAYS tell your GF when you cheat” backlash ‘article’ (read: 6-7 sentences ‘borrowed’ from the best/most indignant comments, likely compiled with a man’s name in the byline for the appearance of fairness), followed by a pandering “the debate is now settled” fence-sitting appeal to neutrality to complete your newest trilogy of mediocrity in yellow journalism.

    My inbox hasn’t been this banal since the “pay for dinner” debate.

    Attention editors: Craigslist “Best Of” is a goldmine for talented writers desperate for your shitty paycheck. Please hire someone with a clue and stop wasting my time with this trite nonsense.


  2. Let me get this straight—the author is actually advising people to be dishonest and deceitful with their partners? As opposed to having a healthy and honest relationship where you can talk things out and get past them? Really?
    Sometimes honesty is not the best policy and can lead to a breakup. In 30 years of dating, I can say that NOT being honest is definitely a worse policy.
    I’d say more but this article is so shockingly devoid of useful and practical applications that I don’t want guys to read it and waste their time. Better to read the comments on “why you should always buy dinner”. THAT is entertaining, enlightening and rewarding!

  3. Complete rubbish. Have your cake and eat it, too. Lie and cheat on someone you love, but don’t give them the opportunity to make the decision whether they can live with that? Seriously. Worst advice ever. This sounds like the diatribe of a woman trying to play to a man’s fantasy.

  4. So boys you think I’m trying to play to a fantasy. Ha. Well here’s the deal – if you don’t plan on repeating your behaviour then what you’ve done is crush the woman you love so you can feel better. Oh big man aren’t you? Managed to make her feel broken so you could feel better. Cheating is a shitty thing but I’ll tell you what, unless he’s leaving, or repeating the behaviour she doesn’t need to know. And you should have to live with the guilt. It’s what you deserve after all. You can’t go back in time, so what good does it do to tell her? Honesty isn’t always so great.

  5. Actually this is one of the few articles on this stupid blog that had an interesting and well argued point of view. You may not agree with her approach, but she makes some valid points that I see nobody has bothered to rebut.

    Finally something on here worth reading besides the event listings.

  6. I don’t believe people are actually meant to spend the rest of they’re lives together. We’re animals and animals go around having sex with anything. If you cheat it’s because you’re still attracted to other people no matter how attractive and loving your gf or bf is.
    People make this sex thing huge. We all love getting down and dirty at some point and it’s such a taboo subject that instead of exploring they’re sexuality people cheat on each other.
    Why not have group sex with two girls and two guys. Or two girls one guy. One girl two guys? It’s all for good fun and if everybody consents to it then what’s wrong with that?

    You will always risk to get sexual diseases no matter what you do. If you get them,might as well be from spending a life of good sex (and happiness). Don’t just go and whore yourself around. Know your partners and have fun with them.

    I don’t think that you should try to make a failing relationship last either. That’s just hard for everyone including friends and family who try to support you. If you find a person that makes you happy for the rest of you’re life then you’re very lucky and I envy that. On the other hand when does this ever happen? We live in a much faster paced generation and marriage is a religious idea.
    If nobody taught it to you, you’d probably still have sex with anything that walks. We’d probably all be bisexual as well. Sex is natural and we are thought to restrain our desires all our lives.

  7. I hate to admit it but I agree with this article – as long as cheating is considered an one-time accident. After that, it’s time to man-up and get out.
    Some guys will tell you in the hopes of forgiveness but it’s you who has to live with their slip-up. So if you aren’t planning on doing it again and truly ‘learned’ from it – keep it quiet and move on.

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