Russell Smith 
So, Friday afternoon we have to get her off to the train station in a frenzy of worry and forgetting and major unconsciously-willed disorganization: she has got the time of the train wrong, she has booked too many nights at the hotel and thinks they won’t give her a refund, … Read More
The relationship troubles that come from sleeplessness, the ones everyone warned me about, were upon us last week: She seemed mad all the time, resentful that I had to work and so couldn’t give her frequent breaks from holding a squalling, pissing, shitting, vomiting, red-faced bundle, and I was mad … Read More
When you walk around a city with a baby, everybody smiles at you. Particularly women. They smile at you with helpless approval. They are not coming on to you; they are congratulating you. And all old people smile at a guy with a baby too. They are not just congratulating … Read More
Here are some helpful guidelines to being a baby: 1. Sleep only during the day. The night is for screaming. If you feel the need to wake up during the day, make sure you do it the second your parents creep quietly into their bedroom and start taking each other’s … Read More
I was so worried, before the birth, about the end of my youth. I had always associated parenthood with age. Parents, if not actually old people, start behaving like old people. They must be Responsible, which seems to mean that they must dress badly and go to bed early. And … Read More
