By the time this week ends, you’ll have endured so much wholesome family fun, only Andrew Dice Clay will be able to make you feel normal again. Luckily, he’s coming to town this weekend. Our top picks for the parties and events to fill your time till New Year’s Eve.

Club: 2008’s final Randomland features house music pioneer DJ Sneak.Though Sneak has been a fixture in electronic music since the 1990s, he continues to inspire contemporary crews like Justice. Friday at 10 pm, CiRCA, 126 John St., $15.

Live Music: Get psychedelic with Canadian jamband institution Burt Neilson Band as they peak and valley this weekend. Saturday at 8 pm, Lee’s Palace, 529 Bloor St. W., $15.

Comedy: In a blast from the filthy past, the most f-bombing comedian of the late ’80s, Andrew “Dice” Clay, returns to Toronto for a gig at the inappropriately classy Massey Hall.
Saturday at 8 pm, 178 Victoria St., $45 – $75.

Film: The unlikeliest of heroes at this year’s TIFF was none other than the Muscles from Brussels: Jean-Claude Van Damme, who, in a great stretch, plays a washed up action star in JCVD. Sunday at 9:15 pm, 506 Bloor St. W., $9.

(More) Live Music: Hamilton natives Teenage Head and Tom Wilson have teamed up to become Sons of the Hammer. They’ll play a classic scuzz-rock tribute to the late Frankie Venom on Boxing Day. Friday at 10 pm, Horseshoe Tavern, 370 Queen St. W., $20.