It’s properly balmy, and swimming season is in full swing, which means that unless you find a very convincing flesh-toned wetsuit, it’s going to be tough to conceal the fact that your physique isn’t quite geometrically perfect. Luckily, you’ve got us to bring you the tips – and suits – you need to get through summer’s hottest weeks in style. Herewith, the body-type specific guide to swimwear.
Sink: Who wears short shorts? You shouldn’t: They’ll lengthen your already-lanky limbs.
Swim: Relatively slim-fitting trunks that land about two inches above your knee. Bold colours mean your suit – not your scrawny bod – will draw attention. Modern Amusement Spring Break Boardie, $97.
Sink: Avoid elastic waistbands like you’ve been avoiding the gym: They’ll accentuate your softest points.
Swim: A flat front suit with a drawstring. And keep it dark – black or navy will slim; red and white stripes will not. Land’s End Cargo Board Shorts, $28. (And, for a coupon)
Sink: Long, baggy shorts will make you look like you’re going for your blue badge.
Swim: Lengthen your stumpy legs in a suit with vertical stripes; it should reach about halfway to your knees. Parke and Ronen, Khaki La Rochelle, $105.
Sink: A Speedo; we don’t need to see quite so much of your God-given gifts.
Swim: Understated trim trunks. The pipes speak for themselves. American Apparel Board Short, $42.
Swim: A flashy, distracting suit will reduce your chances of sending children away in tears. Vilebrequin Multi-Colour Jungle Elephant Trunk, $265.
Image courtesy of Bengt E Nyman.