How to Make Her Talk

You know it well: When your lady goes silent, something is up. To cut the tension, you ask what’s wrong. Of course, she says “nothing” – but her tone, body language and cut-eye suggest otherwise. You ask again and again, without making any headway, as she seems to get even angrier at you for not knowing what you’ve done wrong. Here, I offer a list of what to do when your woman is withholding.

Be Persistent
Don’t stop asking – as frustrating as it may be – until she finally opens up. Her silence signifies something and by being passive-aggressive she’s silently demanding your attention. Give it to her.

Lend a Hand
When women feel vulnerable, they crave reassurance that – no matter what the circumstances – you are still on their side. Reach for her hand, or rub her back. This physical contact – if she’ll have it – will offer some comfort.

Don’t Take it It Personally
Until she makes it personal, don’t assume it’s about you. The worst thing you can do is turn this on her, or start playing the victim. Don’t let her silence get the best of you. Be patient.

Crack a Joke
A funny joke. Not a veiled insult, or a mean-spirited jab disguised as a joke – goofy and innocuous might be enough to get her smiling again, if only for a moment.

Image courtesy of TiffanyDawnPhoto.


2 thoughts on “How to Make Her Talk”

  1. I disagree with a few points.

    1) Being persistent is less important than being open to hearing her out or be just being WITH her. Sometimes, it might be hard for anyone (men and women) to talk when they’re fully charged with emotions. So I’d say it’s more important to let them know that you notice something is wrong, and if she’s not ready to talk about it right that instant, then let her know that they have the space to open it whenever they feel they are ready. Meanwhile, just sit there with her, in silence, or whatever you guys are doing. This’ll let her know that you are supportive of her decision to start talking or not. Being persistent and keep pushing her for why she’s silent or pissed off may annoy her more. Just because someone is emotional and typically likes to talk about feelings, doesn’t mean that they are always ready to talk about it when it is happening. Giving them space will make you a better listener and a more supportive partner.

    2) But do be patient.

    3) That depends on the situation, the dynamic between the two of you, and timing and content of the joke. It can also be seen as insensitive or disrespectful of her state.

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