Recently at XX on XY, we’ve heard that men should always pay for dinner – and, in response, the argument that men should never pay.
What we haven’t heard (from a writer – we’ve heard plenty from readers) is a realistic, reasonable perspective. Here’s a stab at it.
On a First Date
If you ask her out, you should foot the bill. Hopefully she’s smart enough to pull out her wallet and at least pretend she wants to pay – but even if she doesn’t, pay anyway. You just don’t have to call her again.
If She Asks You Out
If she initiated, it’s completely acceptable to let her pay. Go ahead and offer to split the tab; if she refuses, just make sure that the next time you go out you plan something fun.
Going Dutch
I hate going Dutch! Offering is one thing; actually splitting a dinner bill makes the meal feel like a business transaction. Meticulously reading over the bill makes you look cheap. Not sexy.
Eight Dates Later – You’re Still Paying
It’s probably your own damn fault! If you insist on paying every time, she’s eventually going to stop offering. But if you have a problem with it, be a grown-up and have an honest conversation. If she’s a grown-up, too, she’ll understand.
And that’s the key. Be a grown-up – much unlike the guy who left me to handle the bill after sneaking off to the bathroom just before it arrived. He came back to an empty table – and an unpaid bill.
Image courtesy of scpgt.
Thats because you had a poor attitude. Or he realized you wanted too much.
You say “be a grown-up” and then you close with a story about splitting on a guy because he had the nerve to go to the bathroom at the end of a meal? Are you f’ing kidding me? How do you KNOW he was trying to get you to “handle” the bill? Maybe he just had to go! It seems to me you could’ve at least waited till he was back, and said “did you want me to get that – I wasn’t sure, so I waited”. Wouldn’t the answer to that have told you a bit more than making the worst possible assumption about him?
I’m with Eric. What ? Leave because the bill came when I was in the John. Give a sucker an even break ! Don’t believe that whatever you think is reality ! Scary !!
If you split the bill – take the bill add tip divide by two > If they are a big drinker you get hammered but yeah you can’t be seen to be actually figuring out the real costs.
Hey, I still pay, and it’s more than eight dates later, but we eat where I want to eat and go where I want to go and she comes along as my fun and outgoing eye-candy. You want to split a bill with her, then prepare to have a discussion/debate every time you are wanting to eat out or go somewhere. Yes, it’s a bit of a dictator role, but what girl would not go along with it when it beats the limited fun they can have on their own if they want to pay.
Gentlemen I’m sure you’ve been in the same situation, the lady sees the waitress walking over with the bill and suddenly mid-conversation she really needs to pee… well it was the same with this dude. Incredibly obvious… and not at all sexy.