Recently at XX on XY, we’ve heard that men should always pay for dinner – and, in response, the argument that men should never pay.
What we haven’t heard (from a writer – we’ve heard plenty from readers) is a realistic, reasonable perspective. Here’s a stab at it.
On a First Date
If you ask her out, you should foot the bill. Hopefully she’s smart enough to pull out her wallet and at least pretend she wants to pay – but even if she doesn’t, pay anyway. You just don’t have to call her again.
If She Asks You Out
If she initiated, it’s completely acceptable to let her pay. Go ahead and offer to split the tab; if she refuses, just make sure that the next time you go out you plan something fun.
I hate going Dutch! Offering is one thing; actually splitting a dinner bill makes the meal feel like a business transaction. Meticulously reading over the bill makes you look cheap. Not sexy.
Eight Dates Later – You’re Still Paying
It’s probably your own damn fault! If you insist on paying every time, she’s eventually going to stop offering. But if you have a problem with it, be a grown-up and have an honest conversation. If she’s a grown-up, too, she’ll understand.
And that’s the key. Be a grown-up – much unlike the guy who left me to handle the bill after sneaking off to the bathroom just before it arrived. He came back to an empty table – and an unpaid bill.
Image courtesy of scpgt.