love
Are you seriously laughing out loud as you’re typing this? Because that’s what I imagine: You sitting at your keyboard laughing and laughing, your head thrown back in ecstasy because I wrote something remotely funny. Or not even funny. Lazy. Lame. But there you are: LOLing. I don’t correspond with … Read More
Life’s not fair. You know why? Because of porn and Disney. There’s a cartoon that explains this, how porn and Disney set unrealistic expectations for each gender – because of Disney, girls dream of Prince Charming, and because of porn, men dream of insatiable “fun” girls. That’s simplifying, but you … Read More
Let’s be honest: Mrs. Robinson was hot but she was definitely someone’s mom (and she smoked like a chimney and looked like she smoked). Nothing wrong with that, but I hate it that everyone gets hung up on this moniker whenever older woman-younger man combo is mentioned. The other day … Read More
It was the day after this guy’s birthday and his phone rang. He picked it up. We were in bed. Just the two of us. Suddenly there were three of us: me, him, and his ex. I don’t remember what happened next because I swam off to the red, hot … Read More
Cigarettes, sun, grit, a bit of sweat and a bit of booze… it did my head in. We were very young and I could close my eyes and find him anywhere, my nose like a dog’s, smelling him. I’d follow him to the end of the world. For years, other … Read More
